Free Falling
by sampire
Summary: Bella can't wait anymore--she's tired of waiting. She needs to take a risk, to jump back into life. Either that, or she'll jump right out of it. She can't complain with either outcome. --crappy summary, fix it later. mid-New Moon. Bella's pov.


**(disclaimer- i own nothing of twilight.)**

_Okay, I know what you're thinking--TWO new stories? I must be crazy. And maybe I am.  
This is basically a recap of the scene where Bella jumps from the cliff,  
only I'm writing it in my own words, depicting it the way I saw it. **I will be using actual lines  
from the book, New Moon, and I know that they do not belong to me**.  
I take no credit for anything that happens in this chapter or the next, but if I  
so choose to extend this story, it will be branching off into an entirely different  
direction that what actually happened in New Moon.  
Read and review please, if you like. I want to know whether I should continue this or not._

**Chapter One.**

Today was the day. In just a too long short while, I would be listening in on the single most beautiful sound my ears had ever heard. Deep inside of my head, I knew that it was wrong to use my best friend the way that I would be using him, but I couldn't restrain myself. My excitement toward today's activity with him was not for his sake, but for the sake of a heart that had long been missing from inside of my chest. I needed to do this, to launch myself from the highest point of danger, to fly recklessly from a cliff-top and into a pool of idiocy. I needed my lovely delusion; I needed _his_ voice.

My truck worked its way slowly through the winding roads of La Push, churning loudly in its attempt to push me toward Jacob's house. I had my extra stash of clothes on the passenger seat, a simple black shirt and jeans, along with the other little garments I would need later. Somehow, through all of the eager chaos in my head I was able to wonder—or panic, really—about where I would put the attire before Jake got into the truck. Though I had hidden all of the embarrassing parts of my wardrobe (most of which I wore beneath my pants and shirt) on the bottom of the pile, I still worried that he would see them. The consequences of such a thing were numerous and terrifying. I didn't want to deal with that.

Ignoring the thought, I stopped the truck, a little surprised I had reached my destination already. I made my way carefully across the lawn just moments later, trying hard to keep from choking on the anticipation lodged in my throat.

After a short knock at the door, I heard Billy's tired voice call to me from inside of the little red home, and I hesitantly turned the handle. It worried me that the lock was undone this early in the morning. What if Jake had been out and someone had broken in? I looked at Billy's solemn face where he sat in his wheelchair, bent over the kitchen table eating cereal. Despite the strength of his expression, the confident tone of his voice, I knew he would not have been able to defend himself.

"Jake sleeping?" I asked, glancing toward the shadowed hallway.

"Er, no," he responded warily, placing his spoon on the table. An abnormal look of worry etched its way into his brow, making my pulse hit an all-time high within two seconds flat.

"What happened?" I commanded.

For a few minutes that seemed to be more of an eternity, Billy updated me on the situation with Victoria. Jake and his werewolf pack had located a new trail of vampire stench that made its way into the mountains. Instead of sleeping peacefully in his room as I had hoped, Jacob was out snooping for vicious, murderous monsters.

Fear tightened its grip on my chest. Despite Billy's reassurance of their safety, I couldn't help but think negatively. I had seen what vampires could do when they were angry, after all, and it wasn't pretty. And Jacob—_my _Jacob, my sweet, loving best friend—was out there searching for something so absolutely terrifying and lethal, something that had been tracking me ever since…ever since _he _killed her partner, James. It didn't matter to me that the wolf pack had been able to take down Laurent. Laurent wasn't anywhere near as scary as Victoria was, with her flaming red hair and matching eyes. Laurent had simply been caught off guard when I'd found him, looking for his next meal, and I had thrown myself unwittingly onto the menu.

Victoria, on the other hand, wasn't hungry. She was pissed, and she wasn't about to let anyone interfere with her mission to kill me. And Jacob had just placed himself in the crossfire.

Shuddering, I turned off the television I was pretending to watch, unable to focus on any of the crappy morning shows, and turned to Billy, who had resumed stuffing his face. I was getting more and more antsy by the minute, the small white walls of the home closing in around me, reminding me that while I sat safely tucked away in his living room, Jacob was out on his own, chasing down death itself to protect me.

I couldn't sit and wait any longer. I needed to get out.

"I'll be at the beach," I told Billy. And then I flung myself out of the door.

The beach was already wearing on me; it definitely wasn't the smartest place to have gone. I was worried already as it was, my stomach all curled into knots. My head was full of devastating thoughts, long, drawn-out variations of how Jacob could possibly die this morning. It was bad enough when I had to wander alone on this very shoreline almost every time that Jake left me for his pack, but to think now that I could lose him _permanently…_that was more than I could handle. I could hardly deal with being by myself for an hour let alone a lifetime. How would I survive? Who would hold the pieces together? I couldn't survive without Jacob.

Huffing in aggravation, I stood up from the white driftwood bench I was sitting on. I could see the purple clouds rolling angrily in the seemingly close sky, twisting themselves forward until they appeared to wrap around the cliffs.

Maybe it was fear, or maybe it was desperation, or maybe I was just tired of trying, but I knew that I couldn't wait for Jacob to get back anymore. The possibility that he may never return had me chewing off entire fingers rather than nails, and I couldn't sit here any longer. I was a big girl, so why did I have to wait for an escort before I did something as apparently common as jumping from a cliff? After all, it was an activity purely executed for fun, and fun was definitely something I could use.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew there was nothing fun about it, though. While I preferred to deny it, even to myself, I think that a part of me hoped that if Jacob didn't come back, I wouldn't be around to notice. The cliff-diving experience, like most else in life, did not leave in its wake only one outcome. There were plenty of results for doing something as dangerous as this. Perhaps I was just past caring, or maybe I was hoping for the worst. Besides, the more danger, the more I was able to hear _his _angel's voice. The thought lit a match to my chest…

It didn't bother me that I couldn't find the trail that led to the lower cliff-edge. If I had really wanted to find it anyway, I probably could have tried harder. Instead, I let my feet take me to the place I'd envisioned in my head, the point of the cliff that would be most likely to achieve the desired affect. If I wanted to miss the devastation of Jacob's demise, the top of the cliff was my safest bet.

I snorted to myself at the word. _Safest. _It was a little ironic.

I found the edge quickly, ignoring the pounding rain that spun around me like little whirlpools in the air. The weather was atrocious and the temperature of the water was also bound to trigger my nerves, but it didn't matter anymore. I could already hear the silky whispers of my Romeo's voice, though the illusions had yet to start. All of the cells in my body seemed to rotate inside of me, curling in on themselves, bunching together, waiting.

And then, much to my pleasure, it happened.

"Bella."

My heart stuttered. _Edward._

The sound of his voice was better than I'd expected, and I couldn't help but smile at the croon. If I could not have him, I would gladly settle for the illusion of his voice. It was the single most precious thing in the world, next to his face. Already I felt as though I was soaring, tumbling into the atmosphere of his tone, the silky bliss of his pitch.

Slowly, greedy for more, I wobbled forward, tasting his imagined pleas, sucking from them what little contentment I could.

"Don't do this," he said. I clung to those words like life support.

_You wanted me to be human, _I thought back, challenging him. _Well, watch me._

"Please. For me."

_But you won't stay with me any other way. _If only you would…

"Please," he whispered beautifully. The sound was heartbreaking in the most delightful way. I could have drifted away on the murmur alone, forgotten everything. But this was only the beginning of my illusion, I was sure, and I wasn't foolish enough to interrupt it now.

Rolling onto the balls of my feet, I hurled myself from the edge, a single tear down the face of a cliff-side, plunging down into the murderously angry arms of a lover lost.

The fear I'd expected never found me, though anyone who heard my screams would most likely have thought otherwise. Instead, pure adrenaline pumped through me as I fell down, and for the first time in a long time, I felt as though there might be more to me than a shell of echoing pain.

The air battled with the force of my weight as I dropped, pushing against me as though it could lift me back up. It reminded me of Jacob, this meager attempt to break my fall. He was always trying to catch me, to put me back on solid ground where I belonged. But, as I'd come to realize, once you've fallen from the deep end, there is no getting back.

I sliced through the surface like a knife through frozen butter, and all I could see was _him._


End file.
